My Favorite Mistake
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream
By Michael Dippery
Opinions Editor
When I was a kid, my mum always made me eat a good, hearty breakfast before going to school. That policy ended by the time I was in high school and I was allowed to make my own breakfast decisions. Naturally, I frequently chose to eat chocolate ice cream.
I’m a big fan of ice cream although I don’t consider myself an ice cream connoisseur, mainly because my tastes in ice cream are simple. I’m as content with a spoonful of the world’s finest ice cream as I am with a pint of the cheapest vanilla. In fact, I might even be happier with the pint since I would have more to eat.
Last Saturday, I went to the Bison for a spot of ice cream. The only options available were various pints of Ben and Jerry’s. I selected strawberry cheesecake, because the only thing I like more than ice cream is strawberry cheesecake. I expected the combination to be synergetic.
The only problem was that the ice cream, like most items in the Bison, was not priced. This situation often leads to a little game I like to play in which I buy one item at a time so I can determine its price. I decided to play the same game with the Ben and Jerry’s.
Big mistake. The pint of ice cream rang up as $5.75.
This is one of my biggest complaints about the Bison. Many items simply do not carry price tags or instead the prices are obscured. I’m no expert in marketing, but I feel that one of the biggest “do’s” in customer service is letting your customers know how much things cost.
Look, Parkhurst, I know that you’re the only game in town, but could you at least act like you don’t have a monopoly on campus food?
The one good thing about the Bison is the people who work there, but even social interactions with the employees are slowly being cut out of the picture. Exhibit A: the new ticket system at the Mexican place. The ticket itself is complicated; it’s designed so that I can follow a set of steps to get to the epic conclusion of my quesadilla. But after the step marked “the end,” there’s actually more steps. Two more, in fact.
Maybe it’s the computer scientist in me, but I think the whole system would be a lot easier if we used a punchcard program. The number of combinations available at the Mexican place can’t be that great, and I bet all the options could easily be encoded with a relatively small number of bits. A large poster detailing the possible options could be posted on the wall, and then we just punch out the holes corresponding to our desired options and feed the card into a machine which would then make our tacos, quesadillas and fajitas for us.
In fact, I think that’s where the Mexican place is headed. As far as I can tell, the only thing useful about this card system is that I no longer have to talk to the person making my quesadilla. Now that disappoints me, because I’m quite verbose, but from the point of view of Parkhurst, a minimization of social interaction might be a good thing. In fact, I think this is all a plan by Parkhurst to replace the Bison employees with robots. Think about it. The tickets are almost like punchcards, and punchcards are easily read by machinesÑmachines like robots. This could be the beginning of the events depicted in “The Matrix.” Who would’ve thought that the warning shots would be fired right here at the University?
