A review of the University year
By Alex Anolik
Writer
Faithful reader, follow me on what we’ve all learned this semester at the University. While I can’t say what you learned in your astronomy class (or what I learned in mine, for that matter), I can list some lessons imparted on all University students in the first months of 2009. Without further adieu, “What I Learned This Semester”:
We, as a nation, can elect a black president, but we, as students, are not allowed to address issues of racial inequality.
The University’s idea of saving us money in these rough economic times is raising tuition only 4 percent.
Asher Roth really kind of sucks live.
Alumni don’t just give donations, but apparently also Chlamydia and herpes.
An apparently efficient way to get on Bucknell Student Government is apply for it in the fall (when acceptance to the board is not gauged by a democratic election, but a review of a resume), then claim “experience” in the spring. No joke: Most students who got elected in the sophomore class were incumbents.
When purchasing a black North Face, it is prudent to purchase a tracking device as well.
Preparing and selling food to raise money for charity is in direct violation of University regulations.
The safety of buildings increases as the amount of emergency exits decrease.
Ludacris “got hoes” in zip code 17837.
Professors do not require a pay incentive to work here, but the library was in dire need of new couches, paintings and laptops.
We all chipped in to buy new expensive bicycles a limited number of people can use for a week.
In all seriousness, this past semester I learned that despite all the cliques, all the separation caused by Greek life, and all the division between liberal arts majors and science/engineering majors, we can be united as a University.
Apparently the easiest way to do so is inciting controversy. Say what you will about this past semester’s speakers, musical guests and expenditures, not to mention our administration’s attempts to deal with a faltering economy; everyone on campus was united in having an opinion, and sharing it with others. We all had something to bring us together and to give us things to talk about.
What has gone on this semester brought as much, if not more, excitement to Pennsylvania as the Battle of Valley Forge. Hyperbole aside, I say that we continue building upon this past semester’s discussions of taboo subjects to this campus. Discussion of interesting topics by those with diverse viewpoints is the foundation of a good education. If nothing else, it provides more appealing fodder for conversation than an account of a party at TKE.
No matter what, we are still getting a top-tier education at a school with a superb reputation. That doesn’t mean we can’t challenge the paid faculty members on some of their hypocritical courses of action. This past semester we proved we are intelligent enough to deal with issues that mean a lot to some people. Next year, its time we show we can deal with issues that mean a lot to the campus community at large.
