How To Help A Friend With a Drinking Problem

Types & Signs: 

A Social Drinker 

  • drinks slowly (no gulping/chugging)

  • knows when to stop drinking (does not drink to get drunk)

  • eats before or while drinking

  • never drives after drinking

  • respects nondrinkers

  • knows and obeys laws related to drinking

A Problem Drinker 

  • drinks to get drunk

  • tries to solve problems while drinking

  • experiences personality changes - may become loud, angry or violent, or silent, remote or reclusive

  • drinks when he or she should not - before driving, going to class or work

  • causes other problems - harms himself or herself, family, friends, or strangers

 

An Alcoholic 

  • spends a lot of time thinking about drinking and planning where and when to get the next drink

  • keeps bottles hidden for quick pick-me-ups

  • starts drinking without consciousness planning and loses awareness of the amount consumed

  • denies drinking

  • drinks alone

  • needs to drink before a stressful situation

  • may have "blackouts" - cannot remember what he or she did while drinking although he or she may have appeared "normal" to people at the time

  • goes from having hangovers to more dangerous withdrawal symptoms, such as delirium tremens ("DTs"), which can be fatal

  • has or causes major problems - with the police, an employer, family, or friends

 

Talking with the Drinker 

If you care, show your concern. Don't be too polite to bring up the topic, but be tactful. Ask whether the person feels he or she has a drinking problem and continue asking questions that encourage frankness. Avoid sermons, lectures and verbal attacks. Keep an open mind about how the person evaluates his or her situation. And know your own limits - don't continue the conversation if you get upset or angry. You may find that short, periodic discussions of the problem work best.

 

Dealing with Defensiveness  

Once you've raised the subject, the person may respond defensively, deny having a problem, or agree that he or she has a problem with alcohol.

Make it clear to the problem drinker that you dislike the behavior, not the person. If you drink, be honest about your own drinking and attempts to control it. Understand that the person's defensiveness is based on fear of facing the problem and isn't directed at you.

 

Dealing with Denial 

If your discussions have no effect on your friend's drinking behavior, you should still tell him or her how the drinking problem affects you. For example, you can say how hard it is for you to enjoy going out together to a party because you are afraid he or she will get sick, pass out, or otherwise embarrass you both.

 

Dealing with Agreement 

If at some point your friend agrees that drinking is creating personal problems, you may want to ask:

  • Why do you think you have a problem with alcohol?

  • What do you think you can do about it?

  • What are you going to do about it?

  • What kinds of support do you need from me to stop or limit your drinking?

You may also want to have some referrals ready for your friend

 

Where To Go For Help 

Adult Children of Alcoholics
A Twelve Step program of women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes who meet to find freedom from the past and ways to improve today.
Click here to visit: www.adultchildren.org 

 

Al-Anon/Alateen
Whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not, Al-Anon offers hope and recovery to all people affected by the alcoholism of a loved one or friend. support for friends and families.
Click here to visit:  www.al-anon.alateen.org 

 

Alcoholics Anonymous
An international fellowship of men and women who have had a drinking problem; it is nonprofessional, self-supporting, nondenominational, multiracial, apolitical, self-help group open to anyone who wants to do something about their drinking problem.
Click here to visit: www.aa.org 

 

American Council for Drug Education
Substance abuse prevention and education agency that develops programs and materials based on the most current scientific research on drug use and its impact on society.
Click here to visit: www.acde.org 

 

American Socity of Addiction Medicine
The nation's medical specialty society dedicated to educating physicians and improving the treatment of individuals suffering from alcoholism and other addictions.
Click here to visit: www.asam.org 

 

Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI)
Nonprofit education and advocacy organization that focuses on improving the safety and nutritional quality of our food supply and on reducing the carnage caused by alcoholic beverages.
Click here to visit: www.cspinet.org 

 

Center for Substance Abuse Prevention (CSAP)
CSAP, under the auspices Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in the US Department of Health and Human Services, provides national leadership in the development of policies, programs, and services to prevent the onset of illegal drug use, to prevent underage alcohol and tobacco use and to reduce the negative consequences of using substances.
Click here to visit: prevention.samhsa.gov 

 

Center for Substance Abuse Research (CESAR)
A University of Maryland research center which collects, analyzes and disseminates information on the nature and extent of substance abuse and related problems in Maryland and nationally. Conducts policy-relevant research on specific initiatives to prevent, treat, and control substance abuse.
Click here to visit: www.cesar.umd.edu 

 

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT)
CSAT,under the auspices Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in the US Department of Health and Human Services, is Congressionally mandated to expand the availability of effective treatment and recovery services for alcohol and drug problems.
Click here to visit: csat.samhsa.gov 

 

Do It Now Foundation
Nonprofit publisher of alcohol, substance abuse, and health. Target audiences include middle school, high school and college students and their families.
Click here to visit: www.doitnow.org 

 

Drug Strategies
Promotes more effective approaches to the nation's drug problems and supports private and public efforts to reduce the demand for drugs through prevention, education, treatment, law enforcement and community initiatives.
Click here to visit: www.drugstrategies.org 


Dual Recovery Anonymous
An independent, twelve-step, self-help organization for people with a dual diagnosis of chemically dependence and an emotional or psychiatric illness. Addresses how both illnesses affect all areas of life.
Click here to visit: draonline.org 

 

Betty Ford Center
A nonprofit, licensed treatment center that helps women, men and families begin the process of recovery from addiction to alcohol and other drugs. Founded in 1982 by former First Lady Betty Ford and Ambassador Leonard Firestone.
Click here to visit: www.bettyfordcenter.org 

 

International Council of Alcohol and Addictions
A nonprofit organization which brings together many national bodies and a wide range of professionals in different disciplines who exchange knowledge, ideas, advice, guidance, expertise, and research, facilitated by its conferences and other activities in the field of dependencies.
Click here to visit: www.icaa.de 

 

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD)
National volunteer organization, with community chapters throughout the US, whose goal is to stop drunk driving, support the victims of this violent crime and prevent underage drinking.
Click here to visit: www.madd.org 

 

National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA)
A national, nonprofit membership organization working on behalf of children of alcohol and drug dependent parents. Advocates for all children and families affected by alcoholism and other drug dependencies.
Click here to visit: www.nacoa.net 

 

National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers (NAATP)
Dedicated to promoting, assisting and enhancing the delivery of ethical, effective, research-based treatment for alcoholism and other drug addictions.
Click here to visit: www.naatp.org 

 

National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors (NAADAC)
Global organization of addiction focused professionals who enhance the health and recovery of individuals, families and communities and empowers addiction focused professionals to achieve excellence through education, advocacy, knowledge, standards of practice, ethics, professional development and research.
Click here to visit: www.naadac.org 

 

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)
Part of the National Institutes of Health, supports and conducts biomedical and behavioral research on the causes, consequences, treatment, and prevention of alcoholism and alcohol-related problems.
Click here to visit: www.niaaa.nih.gov 

 

Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD)
Provide students with the best prevention and intervention tools possible to deal with the issues of underage drinking, drunk driving, drug abuse and other destructive decisions.
Click here to visit: www.saddonline.com 

 

These links and more at the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence website.Or call the Student Health Service to make an appointment with the Alcohol and Other Drugs Counselor. 

 

Taken from "How to Help a Friend With a Drinking Problem", An American College Health Association publication. 1996.